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While not happy with the current situation, I'm not completely ready to become a total expatriot just yet. In the spirit of at least attempting to adapt, it is my pleasure to contribute to the beer thread as I have not done in quite some time... blaming the wine, of course, and then the lack of good beer up here in hillbilly meth world.
So...

TheWife™ and I made the trip down the mountain to visit the fabulous BevMo! in Redlands. TheWife™ had received a club memo about a wine sale, and while I didn't really care about that (all CA Chards... ugh), I felt it had been a good long while since I'd gone on beer safari and made the most out of the excursion.
I wound up picking out about 8 bombers, total, and kept looking them over while shopping, and finally pruned it down to 4 bottles and a large amount of beer I'll get to in a minute. Let's stick with the bottles for now.
I picked an interesting looking Belgian Bock, of all things, called Leute. Now, I have not cracked this open just yet (although it's days are numbered), and have no idea what it tastes like, but the silk-screened bottle featuring the goat with his tongue out while straddling a beer keg was a MAJOR selling point. I'll get back to you guys on the flavor later this week.
Next, I picked up a bottle of the Sam Adams Triple Bock. Now, a lot of people say that this has been made continuously for years, but I haven't seen a bottle of this stuff with my own eyes in at least a decade. I haven't gotten into this one either, and can't even remember what it tastes like, but am looking forward to guzzling it down and reporting back.
Now, for the ones I have opened... first up is a Bock I haven't seen before (but TheWife™ swears she's had somewhere) called Reutberger Josefi-Bock. The "single-only" Bocks can be hit or miss... sometimes, some breweries take the word "Bock" to just mean a strong lager, and they can taste like shit. But not this one... oh, lordy no. This here is the real god damn deal and I can't wait to buy more. Sticky and grainy as a good standard Bock should be, 7% alcohol, and German as hell. Prost!



After that one, I opened up my Baltika #4, the dark lager. Baltika is a Russian brewery, and they make surprisingly great beers. I say surprisingly because... well... this is Russia we're talking about here. Most things Russian are cheap and shitty... but not Baltika. They make several different styles, and I've never had a stinker, but the #4 is my favorite. I guess you could say it's supposed to be a Dunkel, but if you look for traditional Dunkel characteristics, you're going to be disappointed. Just stay in the spirit of the beer safari and realize that this is a beer from Russia that doesn't taste like kerosene... and then it becomes really quite good. It has some malty sweetness, with a good amount of bitter, but overall an easy refreshing all-night drinker that should have you slurring in fake Russian accent by the time the bar closes. And that's always a good time.



And then... well... I just couldn't help myself. This diversion had nothing to do with the creepy commercials, and everything to do with new technology that I can't wait for other breweries to use. Real, live draught beer in my fridge? 5 liters worth? That stays fresh 4 times longer than a growler? And I don't have to buy a kegerator or modify my fridge to fit it with an outside tap handle? Too good to be true? No, it is no fantasy, my friends. It is...
The Heineken Mini-Keg


My position on Heineken has been well given already in the former version of this thread. To sum up, it is an okay beer in the bottle, a better beer in the can due to lack of oxidation, and one of the world's great lagers on tap. So... I have an opportunity to have one of the world's great lagers in my fridge? You bet your fucking ass I'm gonna buy one of the motherfuckers and tap that bitch up.
Results? While not exactly the same flavor profile as what you get sitting at a bar from a fresh keg... it's damn near close. The only difference I detect is that the hay-bale grainy characteristic is a little muted, but that's all. Other than that, I was in fucking heaven last night drawing pints out of my fridge not ten feet from the couch while the Elvis concert movie played out on the tv. Crisp, clean, quenching... delicious!
The key is that, unlike other mini-kegs, the Heineken one has a co2 cartridge in it that "pops" when you tap it. Keeps the beer running fresh for up to 30 days. Which doesn't matter to me, cause this bitch will be drained by tomorrow night. You get roughly 10 to 11 pints out of it, and it's on sale at the BevMo! right now for $16.99, or a little over a buck fitty a pint. Now that's swank.
What I'm really hopeful for, though, is that other breweries will jump on this technology like flies on shit. You know that Bud and Coors and Miller will... and those can all suck a nut. Think of other major breweries, though... how awesome would it be to have a mini-keg of Guinness in your very own fridge? Big-time awesome... that's how awesome.
Anyways, I'm not saying this is the greatest beer in the world... but... having a good, fresh tap lager in my own fridge is a quantum leap. Sometimes, amid the coffee stouts, and imperial porters, and belgian dubbels... you just want a god damn beer that quenches and refreshes. My friends, the Heineken Mini-Keg accomplishes that in spades.
Happy drinking, fuckers.

And I can finally work this piece of shit Yuku via Firefox. The Safari was having real problems with it.

A good friend of mine is a brewer at Abita. Her name is Mel and she is awesome.
The end.